Oh, Christmas trees

If it’s Thanksgiving weekend, your first load of cut Christmas trees should be rolling in any minute now.

A garden retailer once told me that he had never seen domestic disputes get as ugly as when Man and Wife gather round to select the family tree. Invariably, he wants a flocked tree, and she’s in no mood to spend her holidays vacuuming up the mess. His family tradition calls for spruce; hers mandates that only pine trees make real Christmas trees.

The worst case, the retailer told me, ended with the husband peeling out in the parking lot, leaving the missus behind to find her own way home. No sale was made.

Call me Ebenezer. Here are a few not-so-cheery news bits dealing with Christmas trees:

• In New Milford, Conn., police are searching for vandals responsible for damaging hundreds of Christmas trees planted in memory of a woman’s deceased son, who was killed in a car crash two years ago. According to WFSB-TV, row upon row of young trees had 3-4 feet lopped off. The tops of the trees were found scattered throughout the field and woods. A $1,000 reward has been offered.
• Researchers have found that the mold count from a live Christmas tree rose to five times the normal level two weeks after the tree was brought indoors, and that can prove problematic for people with mold allergies. “So if you don’t feel well during the holidays, consider the Christmas tree as a possible source of allergies.” said study co-author Philip Hemmers, an allergist and immunologist.
• Add Christmas trees to Georgia’s down-and-droughty list. Southeastern tree growers say that not every tree out there looks as scraggly as Charlie Brown’s, but it does mean that in some cases, buyers will go home with smaller, less vibrant trees than in years past.

-- Kevin